Building your legacy

How you care for others and make a difference in their lives is how you will be remembered by family and community

A lmost four years ago when I had returned to Ontario for my oldest daughter’s memorial service, I had the opportunity to visit my elderly aunt in her retirement home in the small town of Elmira.

Great visit! Of my late father’s nine siblings, she is the only one still alive.

I grew up in Elmira and my aunt had lived there all her adult life, so in our conversation we reminisced about locals who had been important to either of us in the past.

On the subject of teachers, most names and faces had faded away, save one in particular, my high school science teacher, Mr. Ernie Kendall.

He got me interested in science and he told good stories. He was the only teacher who encouraged me to go on to university. I always had a sense he really cared about me. But that was over half a century ago.

Then my aunt dropped a bomb: “Ernie Kendall is still alive at 100 and he lives in the nursing care unit of this facility. He’s mentally out of it, so there’s not much point of visiting him, but he’s alive.”

After goodbyes with my aunt, I went to see Mr. Kendall anyway.

He did appear to be “out of it,” that is, until I identified myself. He came alive immediately, greeted me and asked about me and my younger brothers, whom he also remembered teaching.

We had a short but wonderful visit and I was able to thank him in person for what he had meant to me.

What a gift! Mr. Ernie Kendall died a year and a half later at 101.

As I have reflected on why only one teacher from my high school days stands out in my memory, I realize that the list of people I remember clearly are people who cared , people who made a difference in my life, people close to my heart.

Think about it. As you look back over your life, do you remember the people with the most prestigious credentials, the most money or the most accolades? Or like me, do you remember those souls who cared and made a difference to your life?

Anyone who has had to confront the reality of their mortality wonders about how they will be remembered after they’re gone.

But the question needs to be taken a little deeper: “Will I be remembered at all?”

The point is that how you cared and loved and made a difference to others is not only what people will remember of you, but a principal factor in whether you will be remembered at all as time passes.

That is your legacy to your family and community. Memories of your credentials and achievements fade quickly.

I invite you to take a few minutes to reflect on what you are building as your personal legacy.




You can reach Registered Psychologist Dr. Neill Neill at 250-752-8684 or through his website



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