A note from Heaven to us at Christmas…
Grief ~ Oh how long do we go on…
A limb has fallen from the family tree and I hear a voice saying; “Do not grieve for me.”
Remember the best times, the laughter … the song … the good life we had while I was strong.
Continue my heritage, I’m counting on you, keep smiling and the sun will soon shine through.
My mind is at ease; my soul is at rest; remembering you all and how I was truly blessed.
At this Christmas season gather one and all … continue our traditions no matter how small. Give strength to your lives, and don’t worry about a fall.
I miss you all dearly; hold high your chins, until the day comes when we all are together again.
At this time of year, life for those who grieve can be full of long-suffering and pain-filled memories of a loved one who is no longer with us in our physical presence.
We long for their words of advice or a gentle touch of love across our face; we want to feel the full embrace and our heart aches with that longing.
The words “Do not grieve for me,” in some cases go on to say “but if you must, just for a while” is the sentiment our loved one sends to us in a message and in reality we know this to be truth.
This acceptance of the fact that grief is only for a moment is the hope our loved one sends to us when we close our eyes and in the silence of our hearts get to see small snippets or vignettes of what or how life once was in a memory.
No matter what time or season it is that a loved one has passed away there are so many times within the calendar year when we suddenly stop to reflect on a moment or a special day.
These special moments or special days might be the first day of school, a graduation, an engagement ring given, a wedding, the birth of a child welcoming new life into the family, or maybe a special Christmas thought.
When we have these moments we recall love.
The memories that come to mind of a deceased friend, or colleague or of a child, parent or spouse are special gifts often meant to cause a smile that lets the warm light of life enter our moments of cold dark feelings causing that smile to appear on our faces even if for a brief moment.
One of the last memory pictures I see of my mom was her last Christmas morning when she sat up to watch me, along with my brothers and sister, unwrap a framed black and white photo of us siblings when we were small children in front of a Christmas tree.
Each year when I look at that photo which comes out only at Christmas I smile for the memories of family.
Although family life together might be only for a little while, we hold those we remember close to our hearts where they live and love with us forever.
Be good to yourself during the holiday season … decide what traditions you wish to keep and what you don’t.
Speak openly about those you miss with family and friends for they are your strength and are journeying along with you.
Simplify your holiday plans and preparation if you wish, eliminate hurry and avoid additional stress.
Don’t ever be ashamed of tears for they show love and if you need to cry, then cry. Allow each family member or friend to express their grief in their own ways as well, for as no two snowflakes are alike neither is grief from person to person, we all are different and have different ways of seeing and feeling our emotions.
Remember to honour your loved ones if you’d like, make a special memory table or place in your home of remembrance during the holidays.
This Christmas if you can do reach out to another person or perhaps help a family in need of kindness and love; visit a lonely person or volunteer at a community event. One wish if I can to offer this Christmas is … to love yourself first because you were and still are loved by all who are around you; share your love with others who need it and because the coming holiday season may be a season of sadness rather than joy, take hold anticipating small but memorable joys.
May the memory of a birth that is Christmas fill your hearts with love and give you peace.